


No Nines, No Blinds

by morphogenesis



Series: Eight & Ten Rule [2]
Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Background Junepei, Bodyguard Romance, F/F, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-11-08 19:48:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17987504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morphogenesis/pseuds/morphogenesis
Summary: Phi, a recent Crash Keys recruit, is assigned to guard Akane -- both her boss and massive crush -- on a conference trip to Iceland. The trip goes from awkward to dangerous after an attempt on another attendee's life, and Phi struggles to regain control of the situation and protect them both.Part 2 of 2 in a series. Companion fic to “Seven Tricks Or Higher!"





	1. an open invitation to the dance

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is longer and plottier than “Seven Tricks.” Here’s what Phi and Akane get up to while the boys are back in Japan. Thanks D for the support and insight into what Junpei and Akane sound like to a non-native Japanese speaker. Chapter titles from Third Eye Blind’s “I Want You.”

The view of Reykjavík from the top of the tower of Hallgrímskirkja church makes Phi feel like an adult looking upon a child’s map of a city, where all the roads curve to make aesthetically pleasing loops, dozens upon dozens of little buildings with primary and secondary colored roofs crowd the spaces between them. To the right there’s a blue ridge of mountains, and before her the sea, and it’s so high up she’s aware of the slightest shift in pressure in her skull. Her blood rushes through her veins like her body’s still deciding if it likes the experience and she staggers when she tries to back away from the railing.

“Phi?” Akane pats her shoulder. "It's so beautiful." Akane leans over the railing to look out over the city, and Phi is dizzy looking at her. "I wish Mori came over."

Mori, Phi’s mission partner, hangs back, quietly watching the crowd instead of the view. She's tiny and wearing the long baggy clothes that give her her codename. She looks unassuming but she's someone Junpei trusts enough to assign to guard his fiancee on this trip. Mori notices Phi looking at her and shakes her head slightly; _Boss_ it says. Then as a cover she holds up her phone and snaps another photo of the inside of the sharp peak of the tower.

Mori is a difficult partner only in that she's completely indifferent to Phi, both because Phi's lowest on the totem pole and because they don't share a common tongue. But she's been with Akane a very long time, so she's usually in Akane’s orbit when she travels. Judging by the way Mori hovers but doesn't interfere with their interactions, she finds Phi's job performance satisfactory and nothing more.

Phi is now a full-time Crash Keys employee. She chose Investigation because it would keep her in the field as much as possible; she didn't realize it meant she'd be stuck with the most boring tasks for months. She thought Junpei was joking when he told her she was going to play bodyguard for Akane, who didn’t need one:

"So...I play chaperone for a week?" She crossed her legs at the knees and tilted her chair back on to two legs. "Don't you need me for the next infiltration?" 

"This is where you're needed," Junpei said, staring at the pencil he rolled between his index and middle fingers. "And it's a free trip where the only thing you have to worry about is checking for bugs and drinking with the VIP. Don't complain."

"Too late, this VIP—"

"Is your boss, Akane Kurashiki. So I'd watch my mouth."

Phi was unfazed. "She's your fiancee, you go."

Junpei scoffed. "She told me what she wanted." His increased fidgeting with the pencil showed he wasn't a fan. It must be weird to be engaged to your boss, Phi thought. At least he wasn’t marrying the other Kurashiki. "You literally just. Have. To tag along. Can you do that?"

"I absolutely understand, Boss," she said in pitchy inflected Japanese, and he gave her an unimpressed stare. She returned it.

"Do better. Get out of my office," he said—or something like it. Her textbook Japanese comprehension wasn't amazing, much less Junpei's informal manner of speech. Akane used polite speech and thus Phi found her far more pleasant to talk to when she felt confident enough to practice her Japanese.

"Are you alright?" Akane says now in Japanese and Phi nods.

“Where do you want to go next?” Phi says, still feeling her blood rise and fall in her body like the waves during a storm. She’s starving, her feet hurt because she wore the worst walking boots, and her neck is stiff. She hopes Akane’s answer is the hotel.

“The Icelandic Phallological Museum.”

Phi, duty bound, finds herself in a museum, staring at a display case containing casts of the dicks of an Olympic silver-winning team. “How do you get to the point where this sounds like a good idea?” She tilts her head and wonders how this affected team relations after the fact, knowing that the guy who was faster than you also had a bigger dick. Beside her Mori takes another photo. “Send that to Junpei.”

“On it,” Akane says. “So far I think the reindeer one disturbs him the most. ‘Too furry.’”

“Do guys really compare size?” Phi puts her hands on her knees and bends over, bracing herself on them. “Seems dumb.”

“Only the men who can’t do anything else well in bed.” Akane has surely said and done worse but under the self-satisfied smile there’s a flush of embarrassment at her boldness.

“...So, when does the conference start?” Phi needs to change the subject before she has to talk any more about Akane and sex. Or talk about sex with Akane. 

“Tomorrow.” Akane sneaks another photo. Mori seems absorbed in her phone, looking up at them occasionally. “Thank you for indulging my tourist urges.”

“It’s not a hassle.” This isn’t fun, but she’s still enjoying being around Akane—even with an audience. It’s why she’s cleaned out Akane’s office for her before and paid for all their travel snacks and trinkets so far.

Phi’s never really known how to open her mouth and talk to cute girls, say that she likes them. It’s just her lot. It’s pointless when Akane is engaged; Phi still looks at her mouth when she talks. 

When Akane gifts her a phallic key ring and smiles sweetly at her, Phi’s hands tingle and she thinks _Well, shit._

**

Phi can’t relax at the hotel. She should be ‘on’ all the time as a bodyguard, but Akane doesn’t want any fuss beside the cameras and mics they set up in her hotel room. She was chatty on the flight and talked about food and tourist attractions. No seriousness that Phi expects from someone who requested a guard. 

Phi is on her bed staring at the ceiling and wondering if her dress is too casual when Akane knocks on her door. She lets her in and Akane hurries past her to the table serving as Phi’s vanity.

“Sorry, I can’t find my brushes,” Akane says and picks up Phi’s eyeliner brush without asking. She may speak politely but Akane is so forceful when it comes to ‘borrowing.’ It’s like how Phi steals Sigma’s mouthwash and deodorant when she doesn’t pack her own and has a gacha game account on his phone and hers. He likes her enough that he’ll complain about it but won’t stop her.

As Akane does her makeup, Phi straightens up and tries to look...professional. Alert. Guardlike. Guardly? She glances around the room and Akane is quiet except for a soft ‘tch’ when she smears her finishing wing. Phi rubs her sole along the floor before saying, “So what’s your presentation about?”

"Me?" Akane looks like she likes the idea of all eyes on her. "No, no, we're sponsoring a scientist speaking here. I wanted to meet them personally." After fixing her eye makeup, she puts on a pair of glasses.

Phi points to the glasses on her own face. “Aren’t those a bit...obvious for a disguise?”

Akane adjusts them. “They’re cute!” They are—maybe too cute for a student. Half-rims with purple arms and decorated with white flowers. “You should appreciate the value of cuteness.”

“I do,” Phi gestures to her own outfit. It’s a wrap dress with dark blue and white flowers, following her curves. “Diana gave me this and she’s damn cute.” Phi needs to thank Diana for her eyes one day (if not the red hair). She should take a picture just to show Diana she’s wearing the dress and appreciates it.

“Aw, Phi.” Akane giggles. “I’m glad you and Diana are bonding.”

Phi bites the inside of her cheek, keenly aware nobody expected her to just like nobody expected her to last in Investigation. Diana says maybe the last part is in her head; Phi hopes she’s right. “She’s pretty alright. She can’t cook but neither can any of us.”

“Are she and Sigma still…?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” ‘How’s your family’ is the sort of thing two people can discuss when they don’t know what else to say; this is the third time Akane has asked about them and the conversation is always the same. Phi’s never felt boring until now. She can only ask so many questions about Aoi’s job or Akane’s taste in makeup and music. “And how is your Japanese coming along?” she asks in said language.

“Uh…” Does Phi know how to speak a word of it right now? Is there a wrong answer to this question? “I…” Her mind blanks after the pronoun.

“Oh, I’m sorry! It was rude of me to put you on the spot,” Akane says in English. She comes to Phi’s side and puts a hand on her shoulder. She smells like vanilla. “I know he’s hard on you, but Junpei actually gives you a lot of credit for learning.”

“I… Boss?” Phi gets out, proving she hasn’t learned a damn thing, and Akane smiles at her.

“Your boss can be kind of harsh, but that’s because he’s serious about his team.” Her eyes are bright. How does she do that? She switches back to Japanese: “Try your best!”

At least Phi understands that phrase. “...Yes! Thank you!” she spits out. Her face is hot as she steps out of Akane’s grip. She pretends to examine her foundation in the mirror, patting a streak that isn’t there. “How about we go?”

“Lead the way, fearless detective.” It sounds so earnest Phi can’t tell if she’s being made fun of.

**

At the venue, Phi is too nervous to pick at the complimentary food. Akane loads her plate up with breakfast pastries and offers some to her and Mori. She and Mori have fun eating sweet treats and talking amiably about...something. Phi turns her head at every movement in the periphery; Mori looks at her disapprovingly as if to say she’s making a scene before going back to having fun with Akane.

A man at their table is a physics lecturer from Denmark and Phi gratefully accepts his English small talk. He perks up when she recognizes a German loan word he uses, and when she explains it’s because her foster mother was from Germany. They talk about philology and languages for a while before trading business cards (which never fails to make Phi feel official). He invites her and her party for drinks at some point this week before he gets up to talk to someone he just recognized.

Phi starts when Akane touches her elbow. “Having fun?”

“Whatever fun is here,” Phi says. She gestures to the crowd around them. “That guy was okay. Wanna go for drinks later?”

“Sure!” There’s a teasing smile on Akane’s face now and Phi thinks she’s just invited Akane to make her job even harder. “Let’s have some fun while we’re here.”


	2. happenstance set the vibe that we are in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, please don't laugh at Phi's expense as she'll regret this enough in the morning. For Phikane shitposts and fic progress, follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/junpeidoll).

Phi didn’t have an affinity with Akane until one day Akane showed up at Investigation, bringing Junpei a bento wrapped in a blue handkerchief. Phi waved to her before going back to her laptop, plugging away at a mindless data entry task Junpei gave her because nobody else wanted it. Her inability to speak Japanese (and the others’ reluctance to speak English with her) was kneecapping her ability to work at this branch, but he insisted he wanted her near him and his team. The consequence was she never had a suitable partner for field tasks and Junpei gave her busywork. Sometimes he just let her leave early and she rode trains around the city, people watching and eating.

On that day she was supposed to be working but really had a second window open for online Japanese lessons. Katakana was hard and she was trying to write a reply to the on-screen exercises when Akane leaned in behind her and said, “That’s wrong.”

“Well I’m not serious, it’s just for—”

“No, the website.” She gestured to the second practice sentence. “We just say—” and she said something Phi couldn’t distinguish from the site’s example. “Do you want to learn Japanese, Phi?”

“I guess,” Phi admitted after a moment. “Latin was a lot easier.”

“I understand. Even my brother struggles with university-level kanji.” Akane closed the laptop and said, “Let me help you. I’m going to meet someone and could use the company.” She lead Phi out by the wrist, waving to Junpei and calling she needed to borrow Phi. He looked unsurprised and raised his hand, as his mouth was full of ginger pork.

Phi found herself on a packed train with Akane’s elbow in her face, then through a different crowd barely keeping up with her, then a bar that Akane didn’t look like she belonged. They were surrounded by men on lunch breaks and professional drunks, and Akane’s associate was a huge, rough-looking man. She grabbed his hand and squeezed like he was an old friend. He put a big hand on top of her hand and accidentally shoved her chin to her chest. 

He noticed Phi and produced a business card that looked comically tiny in his hands proclaiming him one Yamada Taro, insurance salesman. Phi thought he was joking about the name until Akane explained he was a friend of theirs who worked for Crash Keys occasionally. He and Phi stumbled through some pleasantries before he turned his attention to Akane, and Phi found herself nursing her beer and trying to pick out keywords from their conversation. ‘Junpei’ was easy. Akane tried to make concessions by inserting some phrases into their conversation.

“Phi works for Junpei now. She was a part of my trip to Nevada.”

Yamada nodded and kept going.

“I know, but she was really excited to meet you!”

“What?” Phi said, before remembering he was right there and adding, “I mean ‘It’s nice you are here.’”

“‘Good to see you!’” Akane added and for the rest of the time Phi busied herself with drinking and peeking at her phone. Diana couldn’t sleep because she was worried about the logistics of buying a new house with Sigma, who had zero credit. Phi entertained conversation about whatever an escrow was and further beers until her eyes were heavy. She drank a fourth of what Yamada did, and he was still stone cold sober. In trying to keep pace with him Phi felt like she was about to pass out. Noticing her, Akane cut the meeting short, endured another neck-straining head pat from him, and helped Phi to the door.

“I’m fine,” Phi said even though the sidewalk seemed to roll under her feet and she was holding on to the railing separating them from the street. Akane looked her up and down before taking her free arm and putting it over her shoulders.

“I think something’s going around,” she conceded, letting Phi keep some dignity. It wasn’t even dinner time and she would still be on the clock at work. “He liked you.”

“How do you know him?”

“He helped me a long time ago,” Akane said. “He looks scary but he’s a very kind person. He used to be a police detective but now he works for himself. Junpei hires him sometimes.” Akane was warm and strong to lean on; her dress was soft against Phi’s cheek and Phi shut her eyes for a moment. 

“Phi!”

The sidewalk hit her. Phi’s wrist was pinned under her, twisted the wrong way and she moaned and tried to get up but it burned. “Oww,” she groaned on the ground and Akane helped her sit up.

That day ended with her sitting with Akane in the hospital, and Phi learned she’d picked up more Japanese than she thought as she tried to explain to the doctor what happened in the least-embarrassing way possible. The doctor wasn’t impressed with her even when Akane repeated ‘My fault’ over the course of their talk. He even told Akane to stop talking at one point and Phi snapped “Don’t talk to her like that.” Phi ended up wasting a lot of time over a sprained wrist but Akane was with her the whole time, distracting her with videos about cryptids.

“I think our next Japanese lesson should stay sober,” Akane joked and then said, “What do you want to do?”

Over the next few months Akane would take her on the odd day off to parks, shopping malls, cafes, movies (more horror than not), and once just idly riding trains and getting off wherever Phi said sounded interesting. Phi wasn’t sure her Japanese got any better but it was the first time since coming to Japan she didn’t feel lonely.

**

Phi expects to meet Dr. Lauridsen at a hotel cocktail bar but the directions he gave lead her, Mori, and Akane to Húrra, a live music venue with jazz notes spilling out from the doors. It reminds Phi a bit of a bar she and her friends sneaked into near campus, when she still went to college: exposed light bulbs and little flags strung from wall to wall across the ceiling, low circular wooden tables, lots of people, and loud. They have to call to each other over the live music and edge through the crowd spilling off the dance floor, everyone awash in purple from the stage lights. She doesn’t dance. Maybe Akane likes to dance? Akane nudges Mori and nods to the floor with a smile on her face.

Dr. Lauridsen buys their drinks. Phi, learning her lesson, has a beer and is surprised by Mori’s strong whiskey, more so by Akane’s gin and tonic. He’s friendly and speaks with his hands. He addresses Phi mostly, to the point where Mori, clearly bored out of her mind, says something to Akane and the two excuse themselves. 

Phi watches them dance with each other and contemplates the fact that a year ago she was living on Sigma and Diana’s couch, no job or studies and no interest in anything but reading articles in the school database Sigma had access to and drinking coffee.

Oma, born with ‘Phi’ on her foot but called Phyllis her entire life, died two months after the Decision Game, before Phi held a conversation with her longer than five minutes or asked her everything she wanted to know. Her funeral was boring, full of old scholars and researchers and D-Team. Before Phi even worked for Crash Keys, they sent their regards in the form of a large flower arrangement. She didn't mention it at the job interview. 

Phi wasn’t sad—the woman was older than God, it was expected—so much as empty, and Sigma and Diana were mourning their baby rather than the woman who raised Phi. She was sadder when Nana Judith died. Or maybe there was no point in acknowledging her grief because nobody would fully understand.

In addition to this she had to deal with the fact that she felt useless. There were no world-saving missions to go on yet, she had no concrete skills that Crash Keys couldn’t find elsewhere and better, school was boring so she dropped out, and she’d sooner be a NEET than a barista. Diana would take care of her regardless, she thought while standing in front of the fridge for another midnight binge while playing games, and realized she’d become truly pathetic. What did the world-saver do once the world was saved? Not a lot.

She still didn’t do anything until the next day when she came home (Sigma’s cats meowing and chirping around her feet and nearly tripping her) and her eyes fell on the card Crash Keys had left her on the arrangement. Diana kept the vase, and it was still dangling from a handle: a phone number and _Call when you’re ready._

Because she called, here she is in an Icelandic bar on a field mission, drinking and talking with a university professor and watching girls dance.

“You should go back to school,” Dr. Lauridsen says, stirring his drink. “You’re very intelligent. I can tell because you speak German.”

“I don’t really,” she says. “ _Romae gloria aeterna est_. I was studying Latin and physics in school.” 

“Ah, _Roma caput mundi_. So what brought you to a neuroscience conference?”

“I’m good at a little of everything.” Except being a bodyguard, she thinks as she turns to check on Akane. She’s watching the band, moving her hips to the drumbeat and sipping another drink. Phi hopes she holds her liquor. “Isn’t your research focused on human-computer interaction?” She looked him up earlier to make sure she wasn’t delivering them to a serial killer who preferred hunting academics.

“I had to change my research focus unexpectedly.” He shrugs. “It happens, so I’m here co-presenting a paper on a similar topic. Academia is more like ‘Publish yet perish.’” He tries to play it off but a certain bitterness is present in the crease of his mouth and the way he takes a drink immediately after saying that. “I’m still here, so I shouldn’t complain.” He kills his drink and orders another; Phi turned down his offer for a second. She takes in the three empty glasses at his elbow and thinks he won’t be fun conversation much longer. His head nods halfway through the fourth one and he apologizes, blaming it on a headache he had the night before that kept him from sleeping.

Akane rescues her by tugging on her elbow. “Phiiii, dance with us!”

“Um—” The doctor waves her off, interested in drink five, and Phi leaves for the floor.

“This is fun! Junpei would never come here with me!” Akane has to shout, and they’re close due to the crush. Phi leans in when Akane brushes her. “Are you hungry?” Akane asks, her arms around Mori and resting her chin on Mori’s head. Mori for her part is unbothered. “I wanna go out to eat.” Somebody is finally feeling her alcohol; she’s yelling a bit louder than necessary.

“Sure, let me say goodbye.” 

But Dr. Lauridsen is gone from the bar. 

**

Akane gets pushy about her food and compels Phi to leave and find him tomorrow so they do, ending up eating grilled subs parked outside their hotel where Akane says she can’t wait and sits on the curb. Phi didn’t expect Akane to turn into That Girl on a night out and wants to text Sigma, who would also find this amusing.

Mori sits down with her head between her knees, rocking slightly. “Are you okay?” Phi asks, feeling confident enough to speak to her.

“Feel sick,” she groans. She raises her head and spits on the street, rubbing her mouth. She takes Phi’s offered hand.

“I’ll take you to your room.” 

When Akane doesn’t stand up, Phi has to nudge her shoulder before she will. “Yes, yes,” she mumbles and wavers on her feet. 

Mori falls on her bed once in her room, hugging a pillow and saying, “Sorry, Boss. Goodnight.” Phi gets water from the bathroom and leaves it nearby.

Left alone together, Akane asks Phi to her room to drink more; Phi doesn’t think that’s a great idea but she also suspects Akane would keep drinking alone regardless and part of being a bodyguard means protecting her from herself. Akane feels fine enough to put away vodka, and doesn’t change from being slightly loud and chattier whereas Phi realizes too late she should’ve stopped. 

“It’s weird we’re hanging out like this. You tried to kill me in another timeline,” Phi says in a sloshing voice like her mouth is full of melting ice. She should have stopped drinking at the bar; she knows that now. She snatches up Akane’s glass and takes a sip—she’s switched to water.

Akane lifts a shoulder. “It was according to plan.” Her voice is quieter and clearer now and she pours herself more water with steady precise hands.

“But here I am.” Phi’s head hurts and she finishes Akane’s water just so everything on the table is even. “You got ripped off. In a consumer test this stuff scored the same as warehouse store brand vodka.” She flaps her hand holding the glass without trying and the damn glass leaps from her grip to bounce and shatter on the floor. “‘So it goes.’” _RIP, Glass-san_ Phi thinks and giggles without explaining the reference.

Akane titters and puts her fingers to her lips. Her nails are perfect and painted dark red. “Glass-san?” 

Oh shit. Phi’s voice has a will of its own now, it’s voicing her thoughts without her go ahead. “You drug a lot of people too, don’t you?” She sways in her seat and narrows her eyes at Akane, who flickers in her vision like a ghost.

“Phi,” she says gently, and reaches over to pat her cheek. Her cool touch makes it clear that Phi’s face is aflame. “I didn’t drug you. You’re just drunk.”

The world swirls around her and when Phi tries to get up and head for the door, she staggers. She stumbles and catches herself on the dresser, and in a moment Akane is beside her, taking her left arm and putting it over her shoulder. “Come on, let me walk you back.”

“I’m fine, get off.” Akane does and Phi falls on her ass, landing hard on her hip bone and cursing, curling up on her side. She can’t lift her head so she stares at Akane’s stocking feet, her long thigh-high socks a dusky purple, her feet and ankles small and delicate and built for the cute shoes she wears all the time. “Why’d I get so drunk?” she asks, but her words are thick as mud packed into a ceramic mug.

“We were having fun,” Akane says, and bends down to lift her back up. She walks her to the bed and guides her to sit on the edge. Phi flops backwards onto it as if she’s an inflatable with the air let out of her. “Sleep here tonight Phi,” Akane says. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

 _Understatement of the century_ , Phi thinks, and then she rolls onto her side, curls up, and loses herself in the alcohol whirlpool in her head and passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11/3/19: This fic has been discontinued, sorry all! I may come back and finish it in the future but until then expect no more updates.


End file.
